by Cleo Falvey

“Are you dating anyone?”

I’ve come to dread the question, usually asked by a well-intentioned acquaintance, friend or relative.

The answer to the question, of course, is no, which is usually followed by one of two comments: “Oh, sorry,” or “You should get someone!”

We all know the benefits of having the partner of our dreams: companionship, solidarity with another person, someone who understands us. We are presented with messages all the time – from books to sitcoms to social media – that say we should be in love.

“There’s a lot in pop culture about what it means to be beautiful, what it means to have a relationship,” sophomore Sophie Strassman, who is not in a relationship, said. “I think that there’s a lot more awareness about emotional problems and about abusive relationships, but I also think that the media affects the way we see the ideal relationship to be, and it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be.”

In the crowded forum that is social media, my pet peeve is the “forever alone” trend on Facebook and Twitter. When “forever alone” is used on social media, it typically describes a single person who is disappointed about their status and lonely. The phrase is used in a self-deprecating way, as if being single is something to be ashamed of.

It’s not. Being single and happy about yourself as an individual is much better than being in a bad relationship. Internal pressure to be with someone can lead to people getting into dating situations they are not happy with. Desperate to experience high school dating freshman year, I stopped thinking about whether the person I was interested in and I were a good match.

“Well, people want to be with others, but they both need to love each other the same way,” senior Stefano Micaly said about a former girlfriend.

In some cases, we tend to forget about whether the person is compatible with us and only focus on certain aspects of their personality, often romanticizing them, which can lead to a negative relationship.

“I think I’m relatively self-contained as a person; I try not to let people influence me,” sophomore Alice Jennings said.

Whether Jennings is single or not, this is the mentality that everybody needs as a whole, especially single people lacking self-confidence.

Being in a relationship is great, but being single and confident is empowering. I am not saying we should start a singles-only club, or be filled with animosity and jealousy towards people who are dating. I am saying that single people should not think their entire social worth depends on whether they are with someone or not.

Cleo Falvey can be contacted at [email protected]