My professional, completely correct takes on what people should and shouldn’t be doing.

IN:

“The Social Network:” If you know me, you know you should never mention this movie around me because I get so annoying. Anytime someone says “The Social Network” I immediately start reciting the opening scene.

Separation of Church and State: I know this is part of the literal law of the land, but I feel like some people need a reminder!

“F2F” by SZA: Every time someone tells me this is their least favorite song on “SOS” I lose a year of my life.

Julien Baker: If you have ever spoken a word against her I have your name on a list and you will be barred from ever seeing Boygenius live.

Lemon-Lime Gatorade: I drink it everyday. I think I might genuinely be forming a chemical dependency on it. Does anyone know how I can become the official spokesperson for lemon-lime Gatorade because I cannot find any information online.

Samia: “Honey” is album of the year. I don’t care that it’s only February.

Serialzd: Letterboxd but for TV shows! So cute and so easy to use. #sponsorme

OUT:

Ben Horne from “Twin Peaks:” I know that this opinion is coming 30 years late, but the amount of hatred I have in my heart for this man is truly incredible. Also, side note, there is a soap opera level amount of infidelity going on in this show.

Waiting Room by Phoebe Bridgers being taken off of Spotify: I cried real tears after hearing this news. This is NOT for the better!

Paramount Plus/Showtime: Literally the bane of my existence…why does Paramount Plus even exist as a streaming service if you also need to have Showtime to watch anything good?

Game Pigeon 8-Ball: I still don’t know the rules and at this point, I’m too afraid to ask.

Biopics: Begging Hollywood to actually write some new stories instead of making hyperbolic, exploitative films about the suffering of former actors.

Sam Levinson, creator, director and sole writer of “Euphoria: It is extremely odd to me that most of his work focuses on underage girls dealing with sexual trauma…very weird for you as a grown man to be constantly thinking this!

Aggressively hating Valentine’s Day: It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or not, it’s still a super cute holiday and an excuse to spend time with the people you love! And, yes, Valentine’s Day is basically one long advertisement for Hallmark Cards, but pretty much all holidays in America are used to push merchandise.