My professional, completely correct takes on what people should and shouldn’t be doing.

IN:
Party Down: It’s the fastest growing non-NBC, non-Netflix sitcom in all of North America!

Color by number: When I was little, coloring books would stress me out because I never knew what colors to use, so I really appreciate the instructive nature of color by number.

Eyeshadow sticks: Literally takes two seconds and then snip snap snop, it looks like you actually put effort into your makeup!

Aftersun: This movie made me cry to “Losing my Religion” by REM, which is a feat more impressive than any Oscar nomination.

Ke Huy Quan: He literally seems like the sweetest man to ever live and he deserves to win every award ever.

Ayo Edebiri: She will be an international superstar in a few years, mark my words.
The Princess Diaries books: They changed my fourth-grade life and are probably the reason I even pursued journalism.

OUT:
Regal Fenway Closing: RIP to the most easily accessible theater that showed mainstream movies, you will be greatly missed.

Tom Brady: I already hated him, but finding out that he produced “80 for Brady” made me hate him even more. Imagine funding a propaganda film for yourself that releases right when you retire (for the second time).

Getting carsick: If it hurts your stomach to read in a moving car, you need to grow up.

Austin Butler: He scares me so much, and the fact that he still talks in that stupid Elvis voice is so embarrassing.

Male comedians: This has been on my mind because of women’s history month and because I’ve been watching Seinfeld. Men always think that they’re funnier than they actually are, which makes them terrible at stand-up.

Landlords: The economic equivalent of buying concert tickets just to resell them, except the commodity here is something people literally need to survive.

Daylight Savings: We have electricity now. Please just let us sleep normally every night of the year.