Amidst a year of uncertainty, frequent half day schedule changes, hybrid learning and holidays, the school administration has settled on what they guarantee will be the final weekly schedule model for the remainder of this school year.

“We’ve been through a lot this year, but we think that version 1.0.4.7.0.0.6B is going to be a real game changer in decreasing the stress of students as we round the corner on an unprecedented year,” Head of the Schedule Alteration Committee Jonathan Hilliard said.

The new schedule consists of several changes to the current model, most notably the complete elimination of Wednesday as a concept. The schedule will go from Tuesday directly to Thursday without skipping a day, so the week would transition to a four-day model.

“The idea is to have the week change to Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and then the weekend still actually stays Saturday and Sunday, so to the outside world our weeks will actually be rotating around the calendar quite a bit,” Hilliard said. “The week would become six days, which is sure to help curb students’ high levels of stress.”

Passing time between classes is also receiving an overhaul, with daily passing time amounts determined by the phases of the moon on that day.

“The number of seconds and minutes of the passing time will be calculated with the percentage of the moon visible multiplied by a constant C, which is a non-repeating, non-terminating decimal, or approximately 4.135637,” Special Schedule Consultant and MIT Professor of Categorical Dynamics and German History John London said.

Senior Yuen-Ler Chow assured those that while the BHS Schedule App™ will not be compatible with a TI-43 calculator for passing time, it will be updated to feature a chart approximating the daily phases of the moon for each month.

Lunch blocks will be receiving small changes in order to enhance social interaction among students. Research conducted by Harvard University Sociology Professor Orville Trent and the Institute for High School Social Improvement at Tufts University determined that the ideal amount of time for students to spend together without over-stimulation is approximately seven minutes and 26 seconds.

“We understand that lunch is one of the most valued times for students to ‘chillax’ and chat with fellow kids, so we are increasing the quantity of distinct lunch blocks from two per day to eleven per class,” Hilliard said. “Students will be randomly assigned one of the 11 individual seven minute and 30 second periods, rounded up for simplicity, to eat lunch during each of their four classes every day, making each class 82.5 minutes.”

Which of the 11 blocks each student will be assigned will be determined by a lottery ball machine in the main atrium during Z block every day. Head of School Anthony Meyer will send out an email on Sunday with a spreadsheet telling students when to arrive for their lottery drawings each week.

To make the transition as easy as possible for lunch workers, lunch will only be served from periods two to six for the first two blocks of the day and eight to ten for the last two blocks. Students assigned to periods one, seven or eleven must pack lunch that day.

The high school is also unveiling its revolutionary new Continuous Learning Model, in which school will literally never dismiss until summer vacation. After three p.m., students will engage with 17 hours and 20 minutes of Asynchronous Learning™, or 24 hours on Saturday and Sunday, allowing the school to incorporate all letters for blocks, excluding Q, which was deemed to have too much negative energy by the specially appointed Schedule Ethics Committee (SEC).

Hilliard said that while the schedule is locked in until June 22, changes to 1.0.2.7.0.0.6B were not out of the question for next year.

“We really think this will be a game changer, but we want to be flexible to change,” Hilliard said. “It’s an unprecedented time, but we think for these last two weeks this schedule will work beautifully.”