There are a lot of things to talk about in the world, ranging from contentious debates to celebrity scandals. There are more trivial questions like ice cream flavors and other broader issues like debates between left and right politics.
Discussion is fundamental to a healthy, functioning society. The sharing of ideas and opinions is crucial for the growth of a community. It fosters understanding and connection between people, helping them think critically about their own viewpoints and make better decisions. A good discussion lets people walk away with a new perspective or understanding of not only what the other person believes, but why. Even if there’s disagreement, discussion can still be productive.
When both parties believe passionately in their own viewpoints—which is a good thing—but strongly disagree or even loathe the viewpoint of the other person, discussions can quickly devolve into personal attacks. This doesn’t allow the other person to see your side and pushes both parties away from each other’s points of view.
In a productive discussion, it’s important to keep the following in mind:
Be respectful. It’s a simple guideline often overlooked. Respect means letting the other person express their viewpoint while expressing your own in an amicable manner. Offending the other person does not contribute to the discussion.
You might be wrong. It’s important to put aside pride and consider the other person’s words with the assumption that they might be right, even if your initial instinct is to immediately refute them. You are not guaranteed to be correct, so you must be willing to be wrong and admit it if you are. You should shift your goal from ‘winning’ to understanding; this way, you may get something valuable out of the conversation as well.
Separate the person from the topic you’re talking about. Imagine you are trying to solve an issue together, rather than showing them that they are wrong and vice versa.
This is where the most important difference between discussion and debate comes in. In a debate, you are trying to persuade an audience. There is the element of trying to win. That’s not true in a discussion. The ultimate goal of a productive conversation is to find understanding in the other person’s viewpoint. A secondary goal would be to find a middle ground that both sides can agree on. This middle ground is often a partial agreement and shared values.
Ideally, a discussion should bring two people closer. After a discussion, even if no agreement of any form is reached, two people should be able to see it more from the other side. You do not have to agree with the other person. The other person does not have to agree with you. Disagreement is a sign of a diverse community. If properly harnessed, diversity can drive a community forward toward progress through the spreading of new, potentially productive or innovative ideas and people thinking about their own viewpoints and convictions critically through being challenged. New and different perspectives should be welcomed and talked about, not pushed away with personal insults and hateful language meant for harm rather than understanding.
There are cases where people spew hateful and disturbing rhetoric under the guise of debate. If the other party you are talking to is supporting deeply harmful and hateful ideas such as racism, xenophobia, homophobia in a manner that is malicious, trolling, engagement-baiting, or doing so in bad faith, with the goal of being harmful, then disengaging may be the best option, while if the other person is trying to discuss in good faith, it still could be a good idea to engage in discussion.
In my time at the high school, I’ve encountered many situations where there are very meaningful discussions. I’ve also encountered many situations where discussions are much less graceful. The most concerning situations are those I’ve heard about from friends, where people talk about extremely controversial topics with others who don’t really want to entertain a conversation at all. I’ve heard of instances where ‘discussions’ are held with the intent to vent anger or make the other person look bad or feel uncomfortable, rather than reach any kind of mutual understanding.
The way I see it, in a functioning democracy of all levels, from the House of Representatives to the high school’s legislature, discussion is the number one driving force for progress. Democracy cannot exist without discussion. When done right, discussion inevitably leads to understanding and critical thought on one’s own views. It is my firm belief that shunning will never be the answer to unpopular or hateful thought viruses. The answer has been, is, and always will be a productive discussion, which can only be achieved through commitment by both sides for a respectful discussion with a proper mindset going in.
