With Pride flags sprawled across hallways throughout the school, students and staff members gave speeches and classes participated in lessons; all part of the 20th annual Day of Dialogue. The Queer Student Program (QSP) organized the day, which occurred on Thursday, April 9. As a part of the switch from “Days of” to “Community Learning Experiences,” participation in the activities was at the discretion of individual teachers.
A-block: Class lesson & introduction to the Day
During A-block, teachers had the option to lead a short, 15-minute mini-lesson examining The Cypress’ coverage of previous LGBTQIA+ Days of Dialogue.
Students viewed articles from 2008 and 2016 and spoke with their peers regarding the similarities and differences between Days of Dialogue programming in the past and current years.
Kate Leslie, history teacher and one of the leaders of the QSP, said the planning for the Day of Dialogue took about three months and included scripting the lessons.
“We wanted people to have a sense of how [the Day of Dialogue has] changed over time, evolved, and also the things that have kind of held steady, from the past to the present,” Leslie said. “So, the [20th] anniversary of the Day of Dialogue was the inspiration for the A-block lesson.”
Junior Adrian Hall also said that comparing the differences in the coverages over the years was thought-provoking, especially with how far the Day of Dialogue has come.
“I think that from 2008 to 2016, there were a lot of different activities than we have today,” Hall said. “Also, in 2008, there was a lot more resistance to the day than there was in 2016, which I found intriguing.”
B-block & C-block: Telling Our Stories, session one
At the first assembly of the day in the Roberts-Dubbs Auditorium, seniors Noah Krewinghaus, JJ Bernard, Ella Ngo-Miller, Lydia Touloumtzis, Sunshine Messing and Special Education math teacher Adam Richardson shared their stories.
Krewinghaus, one of the captains of the girls ultimate frisbee team, started the assembly off by sharing that their identity wasn’t always concrete.
“Some days I wake up and I wrestle with the fact that I have a body that others perceive and a body that only I see,” Krewinghaus said. “Those two bodies are completely different.”
Krewinghaus also said they found acceptance for both themselves and others through their leadership role.
“When someone asks you to use a different pronoun or name for them, for you, it’s a word, for them, it’s freedom,” Krewinghaus said. “To me, that’s what being a captain means: aiding my teammates in finding freedom.”
Bernard spoke about what he called “one of [his] many coming out stories.” He said he considered himself lucky to have many supportive friends and that he found coming out to be an overall positive experience.
“I felt like I could live my life confidently, not hiding who I am and not being afraid of what other people were thinking,” Bernard said.
Ngo-Miller was the next to take the stage, and she began by talking through a 14-page story she wrote as a 13-year-old about a princess forced to marry a man for the sake of her kingdom. This piece later became integral to her discovery of identity.
Ngo-Miller discussed how she experienced compulsory heterosexuality (one’s pressure to pursue heterosexual relationships because of societal pressure), and how she struggled to accept the messiness of her own sexuality.
“My princess is a crash course in compulsory heterosexuality. She was actively spoon-fed the tale that she needed to marry a man and so she complied,” Ngo-Miller said. “Like her, I’ve always felt the pressure to maintain even a teaspoon of heterosexuality. I knew I liked women, but I was still unable to fully admit that to myself.”
As someone who craves labels and clear-cut conclusions, Ngo-Miller said, it was uncomfortable to sit in uncertainty.
“I may come to realize that my attraction to men was a product of compulsory heterosexuality. I may identify as bisexual in the future. To fully give myself time to work it out, right now, I can tell you that I am queer,” Ngo-Miller said.
Touloumtzis said his experience with his own sexuality has been similarly complicated.
“Some things can be summarized in a story, but my sexuality cannot, and that is simple,” Touloumtzis said.
Despite his initial confusion about his sexuality, Touloumtzis said that the queer community’s kindness helped him feel more comfortable in his identity, although it took time to feel like a part of the group.
“Instead of facing judgment or questions, I was welcomed into a community. I felt so much more free, and I was able to express myself and connect with others like me,” Touloumtzis said. “I couldn’t bring myself to hide that part of me again.”
Messing, the high school’s weekly Info Time announcer, spoke about the struggles transgender friends of hers routinely face that most people at the high school are unaware of.
“These are people in our communities, in our areas, who have slipped through the cracks, slipped through the holes in our safety net,” Messing said. “I’ve learned that the people who are affected the [most] by transphobia, by homophobia, by bigotry, we don’t see them.”
Richardson was the final speaker and the only staff member to speak in the first Telling Our Stories session. He shared that he was born into a very large, conservative and Mormon family, which made his coming out journey difficult.
“Because of these circumstances, I was always hyper-aware of the expectations placed on me around my gender and sexuality,” Richardson said.
Richardson said ultimately there is not one correct way to live your life, nor one correct way to identify as queer.
“I have realized that it’s okay to get your identity wrong. Even after all that, I am still figuring out who I am, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that,” Richardson said. “The most important thing I can do is keep taking the next step towards what is going to help me be the best version of myself.”
Junior Andre Stelin, a spectator, said that the speeches were empowering.
“I thought it was really eye-opening to hear about experiences that you don’t hear about very often at BHS,” Stelin said. “I thought that [the speakers] were very brave for speaking out.”
G-block: Lesson about the National Day of Silence
During G-block, teachers who opted into the programming presented a pre-made slideshow. It began with a description of the Day of Silence, which occurred the following day, Friday, April 10, and the presentation showed a video made in 2019 that described the day.
Junior Arman Kapasi took part in the G-block lesson. He moved to Brookline from Melbourne, Australia this year, and he said that while he had not heard about the Day of Silence before, he thought it was cool that students were the ones to initiate the protest.
“I think it’s really awesome that students are participating in it. It’s not led by the administration. It’s not like people are forced into it; students are the ones to have started it, and I think that’s really cool,” Kapasi said.
Students learned about other movements that were led by silence, such as the anti-lynching silent parade and the “NOH8” campaign for marriage equality. Then, classes were split into groups to discuss the firing of LGBTQIA+ workers and expulsion of LGBTQIA+ students, bans on teaching LGBTQIA+ curricula in schools, bullying and harassment of LGBTQIA+ students and censorship of LGBTQIA+ literature in schools.
Senior Lauren Zweibach also participated in the G-block lesson.
“During this lesson, I learned about the Lavender Scare in my section. I think that’s really interesting how universities were involved in it,” Zweibach said. “[It is] good history to have.”
After independent time to learn about their topics, students came back together to discuss what they had learned.
Kapasi said he was grateful for the lesson because he does not get the chance to learn about LGBTQIA+ history in his usual history classes.
“For example, I thought it was really interesting that in California, which is a state that I think to be super liberal, [a law allowing] same-sex marriage didn’t pass the first time,” Kapasi said.
E-block & F-block: Telling our stories session #2
Six speakers told their stories during E- and F-block sessions in the Roberts Dubbs Auditorium: seniors Echo Kaufman, Gray Conner-Jones, April Rudolph, Jackson Armstrong, Lil Kuklewicz and Career and Technology Education Curriculum Coordinator Britt Stevens.
Kaufman commenced the speech by talking about their transgender identity and how, although it is difficult to be transgender, they would not have it any other way.
“Somewhere behind all your hurt and pain and anger, you’ll find a person you never knew existed,” Kaufman said. “They are angry and happy and proud and fearless and above all, they are you.”
Conner-Jones spoke next about labels, such as gender identities, and how they always just put them into an unwanted box. They ended by saying it helps them think of labels as adjectives, contrary to strict boundaries.
Stevens, the only faculty voice for the second round of speeches, spoke next. She discussed the difficulties of coming out to her family and how they eventually came around to her living a different life than they had imagined.
“I wanted what all people want when they come out to hear something that I say to my own kid all the time now, just so she never doubts it: ‘Nothing you ever say or do will ever make me love you any less,’” Stevens said.
Rudolph spoke about being transgender on the cheerleading team and how difficult it was to fit in with the team. He said that, despite these hardships, he enjoys cheerleading and it makes him sad that many queer people do not play sports, since it can be good for one’s wellbeing.
Next, Armstrong sang “Enough for You” by Olivia Rodrigo. He said the lyrics remind him that no one gets to dictate his “worth or legitimacy.”
Finally, Kuklewicz spoke about how their queerness is a part of their identity, but it is not their entire self.
“I am gay. I am trans. I am queer, and I’m not myself without those parts of me. I’m also not myself without my passion for infectious diseases, tap dance and the color green,” Kuklewicz said.
Senior Lyra Cheeseman watched the speeches and said that they were very interesting and compelling. She said the Day of Dialogue gives people the opportunity to share their stories, which is integral in a political climate that is far from welcoming.
“I think [the Day of Dialogue is] really important, especially since people are trying to shut [discussions about LGBTQIA+ people] down right now,” Cheeseman said. “The Day of Dialogue brings awareness to issues that people are kind of ignoring in the world.”
Kucklewicz said they had wanted to speak at the Day of Dialogue since their freshman year and that, while the experience was nerve-wracking, it was “really satisfying” to deliver the speech they had worked so hard on.
“When I saw the speeches as a freshman, I was like, ‘wow,” Kucklewicz said. “It was just incredibly impactful to me, when I had just entered the high school, to see people that were so confident in themselves, assured in their identities and who had really found acceptance in the school.”
